As time passes me by, I got a grip on life. I was a determined person, call me dumb, call me stupid but one thing I never do was to give up on myself cause I was taught to be better. Despite the frequent heartbreaks and separations, many would have thought that I would have hung up my boots off the playing field, in which I did, for some time. I wrestled with my own monster and fought to wean off the memories of Mr Cadet.
Try as much as I could, then I realised, these are memories to last me a lifetime. It will never happen again. Why am I trying to void myself of such beautiful memories? Was I too weak to actually crumble at my own thoughts? Was I that weak? How could I let be manipulated by my own mind? I took all his belongings that I placed in a box, took it out, and locked the door. Taking in the leisure of the whole night reminiscing my beautiful memories with a beautiful man, I slowly came to terms, since I can't change the storyline of my life. I accepted.
It was difficult. In fact, torturous. To see all those pictures that we collated over that stretch of time, the gifts that we exchanged, the dollar bills we traded and the cards we made for each other from scratch to commemorate our weekly dates. It was a fairytale but as we all adults know by now, fairytales only happens in Disney.
One thing I have never regretted, to have him with me, eventhough for a bit than to have never felt his love. And, I'm thankful.
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