The Rise and Fall

Guiltily enough, on one particular occasion, I decided to leave my brains and heart at home and left Mr Conversationalist gaping for air looking high and low for me while I shook my ass somewhere. I wanted to be careless with this relationship after that incident and gambled that one night of my life away.

I paid for my carelessness by being returned the same. Now, it was my turn to go rounds of "investigative" questions. Deep down, I was a tiny bit glad. I let him taste his own concoction and hoped that would deter any foolish mistake intended for the future.

We float amongst time, happy and sad, sometimes. Enjoying our dates, cooking for each other. With Mr Conversationalist, I felt married. We were staying together, half the time, at my place or his. We were too much a part of each other's life. We consulted each other's opinion before any decision made. We were married, without the papers.

Our families were awesome. We could all mingle together without any issues and soon we were often more than not, hinted to take one step further by both families. I loved him, but I don't think it was enough to sign my life away. And as for him, it was just not enough doughs in the bank, though mummy was rich, plus, mentally I felt we were not ready. To call each other husband or wife.

Being too close, we grew too comfortable. I threw my opinion as his and he felt "choked". I guess I wasn't thinking straight at that point. All I thought was, I do not want this to go wrong. I wanted to take any precautions just to make this right.

Neither did I know, I was cramping his style. The suffocation he went through just to satisfy my wants and needs to avoid any raptuous tantrums from yours truly was pathetically thinning. He was worried over my tyrant style, knowing my history, that I will turn for the worst.

We went for many counselling sessions with experienced people and seeking their help and opinions as we identified our problems. We wanted to better our relationship, not to degrade it further. It was a trying period for us as we vented our anger and quarrelled our days and nights when expectations were not met.