Mr Cadet was the total American Pie. He was attentive, sensitive and certainly outgoing. I called him my half-man-woman partner. After a couple of dates, I became curious as to his scope on the vessel and his availability. It seems that anytime I picked on any day for a date is convenient for him. And so he came serving me the truth. The vessel that is docking at my company's dock belongs to his Daddy. The relevation did not come as a joy to me but more as a shock! Was I doing any justice by dating him when his Dad is a major client of the company? I feared for a bit and did not return his calls for a couple of days.
Mr Cadet just did not stop. Firstly, he took a huge step into coming into my office, flowers in hand and demanding an explaination on my disappearing act, in full view of my superior. Did I just tripped over a livewire? I explained and explained till I knock the ideas into his stubborn American skull and love or lust conquers all. As he mentioned, "Not anyone should rule our heart. Let it be where it belongs. I think by now you should know, it belongs right there, where your little heart resides."
Tears streamed down my cheeks as I squeezed his strong hands tight. We made a tiny pact to meet for dinner after work, or my work ends, technically and we left office, this time round, hand-in-hand. Unafraid of the stares and glares, I followed what my little hearts says, defying the nagging feeling of my conscience.
It was easy to jump back to being happy and carefree being with him. It was difficult to feel depressed or worried when I was with him as every inch of attention that I desire was returned with lots of love. He was never shy of hugs and kisses and certainly affection. He was never afraid to race me in town just for a good laugh. He did not fear looking weird to hear the giggle of my laughters. With him, I forgot to worry. With him, I became my true self.
Surprises were aplenty. I remembered wanting to get a Davidoff perfume which I totally adore. But being the typical Singaporean, I wanted to get it during a SALE, which was happening 2 weeks after. When we were dining over our steaks and wine, he asked me to get the tissue from my tote bag. I digged in and passed it to him. He looked uneasy and wanted me to get the mirror from my bag then. I digged in again and touched a surface which was not familiar. I looked into my bag and saw that sexy pink box. IT IS THE DAVIDOFF PERFUME. All nice and wrapped with a cute white ribbon. Tears of joy welled up at the sag of my eye. And all I said is thank you while he hurried over and cradled me like a baby. I sniffled and my cries turned to giggles as I took in the surprise. My eyes, still glistened with tears looked at his face and I remembered telling myself, "Come what may..."
We caught movies, shared popcorns, he would hugged me in the middle of a pavement, piggy-back me in a crowd. We were two carefree soul, not intending to let time be a distraction in our lives. Till a day, I came clean with my parents and thank my lucky stars, they were fine with the whole idea. We invited him out for dinner and glad that despite the language barries which were pretty minimal, all of us in the family got along very fine. On our first family dinner, Mr Cadet was very upfront about himself and even engaged my dad on a man-to-man conversation. As much as I try to eavesdrop with disapproving looks from my mum, I heard nothing much except I saw that my dad gave him an encouraging pat on his back. He turned to look at me with a twinkle in his eye.
As I wanted to bid him goodbye after dinner, he cheekily held my hand and wore a smile so sickeningly cheeky that I wanted to smack his face to senses. He did not bid goodbye but instead followed the family entourage back to my abode. This is getting funny. Right at the foot of my lobby, he turned, kissed my sweaty forehead and told me that my dad has approved him staying over at my place for a couple of days for him to learn more of our Asian culture. Hip..Hip..Hooray!!
Mum and me went into the cleaning frenzy as we got little brother's room ready for Mr Cadet to bunk in there while Mr Cadet and dad continued their manly agenda. He cleaned up and showered and his first taste of the Asian culture was to don a "sarong". This left me in a hysterical fit as he asked for bobby pins to hold the "sarong" together. Dad thought him the way to put it together and soon the family retreated to their rooms as me and Mr Cadet continued watching some flicks on the telly. Well, in fact, we just did not want to be separated for that moment.
The morning after I hustled and bustled with the pots of coffees and pans getting breakfast ready for the family and Mr Cadet before we left for our scorching hot date to see the animals. We ate, we gotten ready and off we go monkeying around in the zoo. Fantastic! A few animal shows and fast foods and ice creams later, we were all sticky with sweat and decided to head home in order to freshen up before we indulge the weekends.
We enjoyed live bands and he introduced me to the many different culinary meals that I was too afraid to try before. I thought him simple Asian languages and I even poked many great teases his way. His tickles were a torture as I giggled till I tear.
It came to a point that he said to me, "He was ready to take a step further." I was taken aback. Our families were nice to us and he was adamant to make this work. I was happy yet still very sceptical. Too many fears. Was it a fear of the commitment? I brushed it aside and came a time he asked my dad for his permission to "fly" me to his home, I had to disagree as I was young and at that point of time, I felt that I have so much to achieve and those goals that I have set for myself were not even nearly attained. I was in love, but I did not want to lose myself. Mr Cadet was disappointed but decided not to pursue the matter as he knows forcing me will not change my mind but his sincerity will.
Came a day that he bears bad news. A day that I will never forget. The pain and the tears that shook my whole life and when reality went right smack into my face! Mr Cadet had to leave. He was here far too long. We kept extending his stay and I kept avoiding the subject of his return to his country. I did not want to dwell on the unhappiness, but when the day came, I crumbled.
I thought with the frequency of males leaving my life, I would have at least become stronger. Still, I felt inflicted with pain, eventhough it was in no way his fault. I got lost in his arms as I muffled my final goodbye, not knowing when we will meet again. The farewell gift I got him was for him to remember the Asian experience he had, once upon a time in life. The memories that we had were put together, acting as a diary for us to fall back on should we forget what we used to have.
After a very long time in his arms, I was pulled away by his Dad and hugged just as tightly. His last words brought more tears to my eyes, "If love had it's way, you both will find each other, no matter when." For the final time, as even oceans separate us and many continents apart, he wanted me to stay true and his parting words, "I will trust you till you give me a chance not to. I love you, Bambino." With that he stepped into that forbidden line and we were separated by a glass. That brought him to his destination and his path of life while me, to my own.
The amounts of phone calls and emails that we sent were overwhelming. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months and months to years. We coped with the pain but yet the friendship and love we had never dimmed. It is easier after time had passed as I fondly remember our loveboat. He, I shall proudly say, he never fails to brighten my day up, despite being miles apart.
He, I will never forget..
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